


What Happens Off-World

by purplejellosg1



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Drunkenness, F/M, Fictober 2020, Flirting, Humour, Morning After, Team Bonding, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purplejellosg1/pseuds/purplejellosg1
Summary: They all had an unexpected reaction to the ceremonial wine. Fictober 2020 fic for the prompt: I'm not doing that again.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter & Daniel Jackson & Jack O'Neill & Teal'c, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60





	What Happens Off-World

They each responded to the ceremonial wine on P3x121 in different ways.

Surprisingly, it was Teal'c's reaction that first caused them to realise there was something not quite right with the drinks poured for them by their enthusiastic and welcoming hosts. They weren't sure if it was due to his Jaffa physiology, or due to a reaction with the tretonin he had instead of his symbiote. Either way, one moment the Jaffa was standing, as stoic as ever, the next his eyes had closed and he slumped – no, toppled – over like a tree being felled and lay flat out, face down on the ground.

There was silence for a moment, a stunned silence as his three companions processed what they'd just witnessed.

Daniel giggled first, a high-pitched noise he looked surprised had come from him. He slapped his hand over his mouth, his eyes wide behind the rims of his glasses and looked at Sam and Jack to see if they'd noticed.

Oh, they'd noticed alright.

Sam tried to contain her own laughter, but only succeeded in snorting, her eyes watering and cheeks flushing with the effort of not laughing out loud.

Jack merely smirked, arched an eyebrow, and went to lean back in his chair in the lazy, lethargic kind of way someone completely stoned out of their mind moved.

Only the chair he was sitting on was actually a log, and therefore didn't have a back, so he ended up sprawled on his back with his legs in the air, cursing up a storm.

That set Daniel off again, which set Sam off, and the two collapsed helplessly against one another as Jack tried to right himself and Teal'c… Teal'c let out a muffled sort of snore.

Sam managed to compose herself first, and had the difficult task of deciding who to help first – Teal'c, or the Colonel. As Teal'c was closer, she tried to help him first, but his dead weight was too heavy for her to do much other than roll him onto his back. He continued to snore, eyes closed, completely oblivious to everything and everyone.

Making her way to the Colonel, who didn't seem to be able to do much but lie there flailing his arms and legs futilely, was hampered by her own reaction to the native alcohol. Her own legs, for reasons the brightest brain the Air Force had to offer could not comprehend, did not want to follow her instructions. Every step felt like she was wading through knee-high molasses, and she had to pause each time to make sure her jellified legs would continue to hold her weight before she made her next move.

Daniel, she thought grumpily, was useless. The archaeologist began to wheeze he was laughing so much, and she was sure if he didn't compose himself soon, an embarrassingly high-pitched giggle would be the least of his worries.

Helping the Colonel to right himself took more effort, and she was exhausted and sleepy by the time he was finally sitting upright on the log, so much so that she thought nothing of collapsing beside him. The effort of helping first Teal'c and then the Colonel took its toll, and she found herself slumping to the side – thankfully towards Jack rather than away from him, otherwise she would've been the one needing help up from the ground.

Unlike he would usually, he didn't start or tense at the sudden weight of his Second slumped against him. Instead, he grinned dopily, lifted his arm to sling it around her shoulders, and tugged her more comfortably against him. Sam's head found his shoulder and within seconds, she was asleep.

"Uh-oh," Daniel said quietly, his eyes widen across from Jack on the other side of the fire pit they'd been assigned by the locals. "Jack."

"Daniel."

"Jack!"

"What?"

"What?"

"You called for me?"

"Oh." Daniel blinked. "Um. I think there's something wrong with the wine."

"The wine?" Jack shifted Sam in his arms, turning his body more into hers so she was cradled against his chest. "What of it?"

"Don't you feel weird?" Daniel asked, blinking again. He looked, Jack thought, like an owl, and the image of his teammate turning into a big feathered bird made him snigger. "Jack!"

"What?" The image lingered, amusing him far, far more than it should. "Chill out, space monkey. Owl. Big bird." Jack shrugged. "You're the one who said it was safe."

"Because I thought it was what they were all drinking," Daniel protested. Or, really, whined.

Jack looked around, seeing nothing out of the usual. The villagers had by and large settled into their huts for the night, the music and festivities dying down naturally. There was still a relatively large group of villagers gathered around the biggest fire pit in the village, some of whom kept looking in their direction somewhat nervously, Jack thought. But for the most part they'd been left on their own after the initial welcoming ceremony and feast, and the partaking of the ceremonial wine to solidify their new trade agreement.

"It is what they were all drinking," Jack said after a moment. "It all came out of the fountain thingy. We saw it."

"Oh." Daniel blinked some more. "Oh, well, I still feel weird."

"You look weird, too," Jack gave a snort of laughter. "Relax, Danny boy. There's nothing to worry about."

Oh, how those words would come back to haunt him.

#

Teal'c recovered first, though immediately wished he hadn't woken from the deep slumber that had fallen over him. His head was pounding, and his stomach churned. He opened his eyes, looked up at the unfamiliar straw ceiling and promptly had to roll onto his side to throw up.

As far as hangovers went, it was a doozy. Especially for his first.

The sound of retching woke his roommate; Daniel registered the smell first, then the sound. "Ew! Teal'c!"

"I am sorry, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c apologised on a gasp. "I could not contain it."

"Yep. I get that. But I really wish you had." Daniel groaned, an arm slung over his eyes. "Sam? Jack? Why aren't you two complaining about this?"

Silence.

"Sam? Jack?"

Teal'c lifted his head. "They do not appear to be here, Daniel Jackson."

"Indeed." Daniel muttered. He counted to five, then forced himself to sit up. The interior of the hut swam for a few moments. "Gah."

"Gah?" Teal'c repeated, unfamiliar with the term.

"Gah," was all Daniel said in response as it took three attempts to get to his feet. "Right. I'm up. I think." At first, he thought the hut was on a slant, but realised it was him just in time to catch himself before he fell. He straightened his glasses and nodded, only to wince. "Oh, I'm not doing that again."

"We should attempt to find O'Neill and Major Carter," Teal'c stated, though it took him a few moments more to get to his own feet. "I do not recall seeing them retire last evening."

Daniel blinked, struggling to remember. It all got a little fuzzy after the team had been shown to their own fire pit, though he had a strange and vague image of Jack lying on his back and Teal'c... Teal'c lying somewhere else. "Me, either. Let's go."

#

Warmth, good.

Soft mattress, good.

His arm thrown over a supple body he was curled around, bad.

Well, it felt good, but it was bad.

Very, very bad.

Even when he realised who that body belonged to and stole a moment or two to enjoy it, he knew, on some level, that it was very, very bad.

They were... somewhat clothed, and he told himself he wasn't disappointed by that. He'd stripped down to his boxers at some point, and Sam seemed to be wearing her standard issue t-shirt and probably her undergarments, too, but he told himself it'd be hugely inappropriate to check to be sure.

So.

Here he was.

In bed with his Second in Command.

Snuggled with his Second in Command.

It was bad but oh-so-good; he couldn't remember how he got there, which added to the list of bad things but, God help him, it felt so good it had to be right on some level.

Which was why he made no attempt to extract his arm from over her middle, and made no attempt to untangle his legs from hers, and made no attempt at putting distance between them. Instead, he dipped his head, inhaled her familiar scent, and allowed himself to enjoy the stolen moment.

"Jack? Sam?"

Damn it, Spacemonkey.

"Go away, Daniel," Sam's sleepy voice muttered, her arm moving to cover his and keep it in place.

Jack froze, not sure if she was awake enough to realise what she was doing.

"O'Neill. Major Carter." Teal'c's voice joined Daniel's and Sam's mutterings turned into a groan.

She turned in his arms, buried her face in his chest and muttered "make them go away, Sir? My head hurts."

"Um." What? "What?" Jack shifted back a little, trying to see her face. She looked sleepy and adorable. And he was really, really not supposed to find her adorable. "Carter?"

"Sir?"

"How did we..." Since he didn't have a hand free, his hand that had been over her stomach finding a new home on her hip, he settled for arching his eyebrows.

Sam stared at him. Her brow furrowed. Again, he had to tell himself that he was not supposed to find his Second cute in any way, shape or form. "I... I don't remember, Sir."

He had a fuzzy recollection of telling Daniel there was nothing to worry about, but that was where his knowledge of the evening before ended. "Crap."

#

The moment they walked through the gate, all four of them wearing sunglasses, General Hammond knew there was something amiss with his flagship team. He stood at the base of the ramp, a quizzical expression on his face.

"Back so soon, Colonel?" He couldn't help but feel anxious. "You weren't scheduled to return until this evening."

"Yeah, well." Jack shrugged a shoulder. "T didn't feel so hot so we thought we'd come back early."

"Teal'c?" General Hammond looked at the Jaffa in concern. "Are you unwell?"

"Indeed, General." Teal'c did look a little green around the gills. "I believe it is what you would refer to as a hangover."

Both of Hammond's eyebrows shot up. "A hangover...? Colonel?"

"There was wine, General," Jack answered with a dismissive wave of his hand. "This ceremonial stuff that was really fruity, just like soda. We may have underestimated how strong it was."

General Hammond surveyed other members of SG-1. Daniel was holding onto the railing, Major Carter staring down at her feet. Jack was... well, Jack, but that didn't say a lot. "Is there anything I need to be aware of, Colonel, before you go for your post-mission checks?"

"No. No, I don't think so," Jack said after a moment, glancing over at his teammates as if expecting them to say something. "Nope. Nadda. Nothin'."

Knowing better than to believe it but also better than to question his Second, General Hammond stood aside with a sigh. "Get to the infirmary, then. Preferably before one of you throws up."

"Yes, Sir!" Jack gave him a sloppy salute and led his team out of the gateroom.

Sometimes, General Hammond wondered if SG-1 needed to change their team motto from 'no one gets left behind' to 'what happens off-world, stays off-world'.

Though he didn't like it, he knew there were sometimes valid reasons details were left out of the mission reports submitted by his teams. It would appear that the events that took place on P3x121 would be one of them.

#


End file.
